


Only love can hurt like this

by Keelster361



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Original Character(s), Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 15:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18054914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keelster361/pseuds/Keelster361
Summary: A short story I made for my ffxiv character, Angie. Of an AU where she managed to catch her love interest Estinien before he leaves at the end of HW





	Only love can hurt like this

Angie dropped to her knees with a thud. The metal floor of the platform cut at her hands making her wince in pain. But she couldn't stop. She had to keep running, she had to catch him before it was too late.  
  
When news had spread that Estinien had fled the safety of his ward, leaving his helmet it had started to spark a lot of worrying throughout the group. No one knew where he had gone nor how he escaped without anyone knowing. Both her and Alphinauld searched Ishguard to no avail. Although Ser Aymeric told them to stand down their search, Angie was persistent. What if something bad had happened? What if it was about the eyes? Or what if he'd been kidnapped by someone still angry at the deeds that he'd done during his time when he and Nidhogg were one? Anything was possible. Most of all, why would he leave without saying good-bye? She knew what he was like, social situations were never something he enjoyed but...  
  
She searched for hours, travelling all the way out past falcons nest, trying to recollect where he might have gone. 'He can't have gone far' was what Aymeric told her 'be patient, my friend, he will return to us' But, nay, she could not. It wasn't until that evening when the name 'lady Iceheart' was muttered at the forgotten knight that she knew where she must go.

"Come on come on" she muttered..." please..."

The place was musty, and a thick smog covered the sky making it almost impossible to see a couple of inches in front of her. Flashes of green and yellow light up the sky, making her jump to her senses- Angie hated this place, for more reasons than one. Eventually, she staggered to her feet, looking around at the awful world around her. She walks around the Aetheryte looking for any trace, and sign. Nothing. She curses. Tears welling up in her eyes. How could he just leave like that? Without a good-bye. After everything. Never did she expect herself to care so much yet, here she was, finding it hard to keep her composure as she tried to locate her 'missing friend'. 

She was about to give up when suddenly another flash of green lights up the world, revealing a tall shadow in the distance. A monster? Nay. It was too slender. Maybe...was it him?

With a hitch of her breath, she starts running towards the figure. She didn't care if this was a friend or foe. She had her bow at hand. It wouldn't stand a chance against her.

Angie got closer and closer, the figure becomes more and more clear. It was a person. They had armour on and what looks to be a weapon on their back....their ears pointed and their long hair waving gently in the wind, each feature matching. It was him. Her legs didn't want to move anymore. each step was agony. She was exhausted, It had not even been a week since the events at the steps of faith had unfolded and she had found no time to rest. The people of ishgard needed her. Aymeric needed her. The cuts on her hand started to sting and add more to her frustration and her pain. One, two, one, two she counted as she moved her feet until she eventually,

"Es-es" she muttered as she falls to her knees behind the figure.

The Elezen looks over his shoulder, a small gasp escapes his lips. "Angie?"

Estinien panics, kneeling down to look at the exhausted warrior or light. He frowns, "what are you doing? you stupid girl!!" His voice was harsh and gruff, almost as though he too had been crying. 

Angie looks up at the male, her eyes brimmed with tears, were they tears of happiness? Of sadness? Relief? She couldn't tell nor could she stop them. All she wanted to do was fling her arms around him and never let go....but she knew she couldn't. "I-" she hicked " you didn't-so I"

"Slow down with your nonsense. Breath." He places his arm on her shoulder, sitting down beside her, with a muffled sniff she sits down too, leaning into his chest. It takes a few minutes for the cries to die down. He would gently hush her as a mother would a child who'd fallen over and scraped their knees. He was certainly confused about the sudden appearance of the warrior of light. Did she follow him? Did someone tell her where he had gone?  Why was she crying!? So much for slipping away unnoticed, he thought.   Eventually, the cries become nothing more than a sniff. Angie takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

"They told me you left....gone and without your helmet, no less....no one knew where or why...and without a goodbye-"

"-I am no babe, Angelina, I do not need to confirm my whereabouts"  The male snaps.   
"I'm quite aware you can handle yourself, Estinien, but you've been through a lot and were told to rest. What if you were to become unwell out here? Your body and soul have been through a lot and Aymeric said-"   
The Elezen cuts her off with a chuckle, "You worry too much about me, warrior of light."   
She gives a breathy laugh and a sniffle. Tis true, she did worry about him, probably more than she liked to admit. But how could she not?   
"Look at you..." Estinien smiles down at her, taking a hand and gently wiping away the stray tears that rolled down her cheeks, "I have seen enough snivelling from the boy to last me a lifetime. I do not need any more from you."   
"My apologies" She smiles, "But when you've had only just returns to us, its only natural for me to worry. We do not want to lose you again. So I came to look for you. Although I must admit, you were very hard to find. It wasn't until someone mentioned Ysayle that I thought...maybe" She trails off, looking out at the platform in front of her. A bunch of flowers had been placed out at the edge of the platform, making her heart wrench. The dragoons eyes follow that of the women, landing upon the flowers too.   
"Are those-"  
"Yes. I haven't been able to pay my respects until now."   
"Yeah..."   
The two remind silent, recalling their time with Lady Iceheart. Although they may have their bumps and disagreements, Estinien didn't hate her, not anymore. He just wished that she was happy now, wherever she was. 

"What will you do now?" Angie breaks their silence, the male looks down at her, her eyes still fixated on the flowers, "Now that the eyes are lost to the abyss...you are free to do what you like."   
"I do not want my life to be driven by one goal anymore. So for now, I am unsure. Mayhap I'll help train other aspiring dragoons. Or take down the last of Nidhogg spawn who refuse to accept that dragon and man can live in peace once more."   
"Well" The Hyur begins, already knowing the answer to her suggestion would be one she didn't want to hear, "You know that you always welcome to join Alphinauld and I in our search for our missing scions. I'm sure that he would be most pleased to know that you would be around more...and I would too..."   
"Angelina you know that I cannot do that. That is not my place. I am no scion."   
"But it doesn't need to be that way. Your passion, your drive and your amazing skills as a dragoon would always be welcome against the empire."   
"You are not listening to me, this is not my fight but yours. Although I do not like the empire, I am no soldier of war. My life has been filled with one driven goal of revenging my parents, that is all. Now that, that is over, I do not want to my life to be consumed with yet more death and turmoil. I want to live my life how I see fit."  
"Aye, Aye you're right...I am sorry for suggesting it. I'm just thinking with my heart, not my head..." Angie trails off. Of course, she knew he would say no. Why would he agree to join a never-ending war? If she had the chance of escaping the fight against the empire and the ascians for a life where she could maybe finally get back to her original goal of saving her own family, she would. Of course, her current path also her goal, of bringing peace of Eorzea but each day she wished she could jump back on a ship and continue to save her family. But having Estinien by her side...it would have made everything feel that little bit better. Once again that lump in the back of her throat started to form and tears pricked up at the corners of her eyes.  
"Dammit, all..." She hisses, wiping away the tears, "I am so foolish."   
"Was this your plan all along? To ask me to join you?" Estinien questioned, "Even though you already knew the answer?"   
She nods.   
"I didn't realise that I meant that much to you, Warrior of light" He teases, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "That night in Drivania must have left its mark on you, ey?"   
Angie feels a dusting of pink cover her cheeks, she frowns at his comment but it doesn't stop the wave of embarrassment, "We agreed never to speak of that night, remember?"   
"Oh, I remember it _very_  well" He teases once again. She lets out a low growl at the man, "It was a jest!! ~~Although how could I forget those two~~."   
"You do mean a lot to me" She continues, "Probably more than I would like to admit. But...I know that I am foolish to think that we could have...ever been anything. I honestly hoped that night of passion would get you out of my system yet...here I am" she gives a breathy laugh.   
Of course, Estinien was taken aback by this sudden confession of the warrior of light. Although they've had some heated moments in the past, his mind, for the most part, had been consumed with nought but about the thought of killing Nidhogg. The thought of having a relationship had never been on the table before. He admired the warrior of light, a lot. She saved him from his madness even after everything he had done and spared his life when he could have easily been slain. Although that was just what the warrior of light done, they were the saviour of thousands. What made his saviour any different from those. What was it about him that made her heart beat just that little bit faster? He knew not. But that wasn't to say that after seeing her that night, as she stood under the moonlight that he didn't feel his beat faster too. And seeing her now, her eyes all puffy, small bruises and cuts on her face from the fight with him at the steps of faith, how she looked at him with that smile, his stomach ached. Gods...how could he have been so blinded by what had been in front of him all this time.  
"You are a foolish girl, warrior of light. Foolish for falling for such a bloodthirsty renegade such as me. Why you have? I may never understand..." The male turns, looking up at the thickly clouded sky, "Yet when I think back on our time together, I did not realise how much your brilliant light shined brightly in my soul. I would have been consumed by the eye that day when we killed the dreaded wyrm if it weren't for you being by my side. You were one of the only things that made me different to him but never did I think about it as being more than that. But when I look back now, seeing your smile in the moonlight, feeling my heart skip a beat, hearing you whisper my name in the darkness, I didn't realise at that moment that maybe this was more than just a night of desires....it could have been something more"   
Another sniff appears from Angie, making the male look down at her. Although this was more of a realisation rather than a confession he could tell that the Hyur's heart was breaking. She knew. They both knew. Even if he had considered his feelings sooner, that this, still, would not work. His stomach knotted. Fuck, this sucked. If this was what love was, he hated it.   
"I apologise, my dear. Mayhap my words have made this harder than it was supposed to be"   
She shakes her head with a smile, " Nay, it was going to be hard no matter what. I understand that our paths are just too different."  
"Do not lose hope. Although our paths are going separate ways, this does not mean that they won't cross again. I still remember what you said about your family and I promise you that when everything is over. When you have found the missing scions.  That I will help look for them. Mine may not be able to be saved but yours still can be."   
"You really don't need to do tha-"   
"It's the least I can do for you, after everything."   
"Thank you...Estinien"   
The two of them sat in silence for a number of minutes. A sniffle from either one of them was the only sound to be heard over the constant humming of machines and magitech. Both of them knew one or the other had to make the move, to officially start this new chapter yet neither wanted to leave the others to embrace. It would be the last time he would feel so close to her. Instead of breaking their bond, he shifts his body so she was sitting in between his legs, his arms wrapped around her waist.  She looked up at him, Her face, oh how it cried out in pain and longing for times she knew were not coming. Oh, how he wishes he could make it all better. He gives a sigh, kissing the top of her head, before squeezing her tightly.  These actions, they were never one she'd see of him before. It felt so out of character yet, it felt right. This was the side that only she got to see, all his walls were down. She too took this opportunity to let her walls down. She leaned back against his chest, her head resting just under his. Her hands slipped into his, shutting her eyes.   
 They remained in one another embrace until they saw the sun light up the sky. It was then they knew the time had come.

"Tis time." Estinien muttered. He felt the women shake her head. "Do not be childish, we must face our fears once more." His words, although slightly agitating her, were true.   
"But it feels like I am losing you again..." She sighed  
"Do not think of it as losing, my dear for you have not lost me. Nor will I allow it, not again." The elezen looks down at Angie with a soft smile, "This is a new chapter, a new beginning, for me at least. I can finally shape my life how I see fit and not be blinded by the thirst of revenge. I just need to write the first few chapters of my new life before our paths can cross again." The women return the look, her eyes still red and puffy from her crying. "Your chapter is still being written. You must find your friends, and rid this world of the evil that plagues it. Mayhap our paths will cross again sooner than we realise..."  
"I hope you're right, Wyrmblood." 

They both stood up, Angie struggling to find her balance from the lack of energy she had. Their hands which had become locked on one another, slowly loosened, until eventually, they parted. "Remember my words, Angelina. We are not loosing each other. Simply taking a different path which will soon bring us back together again. And when it does...mayhap things will work out differently."  
"Taking a different path.." she muttered. "That's my girl..." The male smiled, leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips, making sure to savour every moment he could of it. "We will meet again..." He whispered into her ear, before planting one last kiss onto her wet face. "But for now, it has been an honour. And I thank you and Master Alphinauld for everything. Please, look after the boy, for he may act foolish but he just like us, trying to find his own way." Angie simply nods, her words becoming nothing more than a lost voice in the wind. "Thank you, my love, and may we meet again." With a bow, the male turns and walks away. Tears, now rolling down his face to. 

Angie stands there, her fingers dragging along her lips, trying to remember every part of that moment. His voice, his smell, everything she could. The tears still fell and her heart still ached yet she knew it wasn't the end, no. For one day, they would meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this silly little fic of mine! It was mainly for my little ffxiv writing group but I wanted to share it here too! I'm hoping to write more about Angie in the future!


End file.
